revise the essay

I uploaded the four files..

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The first one is after my professor’s review and you can see the blue part is she gave to me… the last three things I got no pass… I need you to revise it to the standard of pass…

The second one is the comment my professor gave to me. You can revise the essay based on it.

The third one is my essay, I need you to revise my essay to the pass standard and some grammar problem… I do not need you to change the fancy words or something… Please resive it based on my essay.

The last one is the essay prompt… hope it can helps you