I just need your email so I can share my essay with you on Microsoft Word. All you have to do is revise the essay and this is what my professor told me —–> “Your draft does a nice job of introducing some personal experiences and describing how they taught you a lesson that could be beneficial to others.
As you work on your revisions, the main area I would like you to focus on is making sure that your thesis statement draws a clear connection between the experience you had and the lesson you learned from it. When you are confident that your thesis is doing that job well, you can check to make sure that each topic sentence (at the beginning of the body paragraphs) connects the thesis to the main point of that paragraph. I would also like you to revisit the requirements of proper MLA formatting. Let me know if you have questions about this. You have a couple minor formatting errors.
Otherwise, you’re off to a nice start. I apologize for the far overdue feedback; please take as much time as you need in the revisions. Keep up the good work.
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