Please respond to both POST1 and POST2 in at least 200-250 words each.
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In this section of the discussion, you will review and respond to at
least two peers and what they identify as part of their plan to draft
their paper in Part 1 above.
In each response, address your questions and concerns with clear and
concise information and advice. If what your peer(s) propose for their
papers does not seem valid, identify errors or omissions and provide
suggestions for improvement. If you think they are on track, be sure to
note why you think they are progressing in a positive manner.
After you have posted your own main response to the Discussion
assignment, post at least two substantive responses, minimum of 100
words each, to other students’ main postings, offering specific feedback
about the ideas they posted. You must post your main Discussion posting
before you can reply to other students.
A substantive post will do at least ONE of the following:
- Ask an interesting, thoughtful question pertaining to the topic
- Answer a question (in detail) posted by another student or the instructor
- Provide extensive additional information on the topic
- Explain, define, or analyze the topic in detail
- Share an applicable personal experience
- Provide an outside source (for example, a website) that applies to
the topic, along with additional information about the topic or the
source (please cite properly in APA)
- Make an argument concerning the topic
most consistent feedback I received from tutors was to strengthen my
thesis statement. A thesis statement is more than just taking a side, it
is meant to serve as a road map for the rest of your paper. My working
thesis is: “Busing was an effective way to desegregate schools because
it improved minority student’s success in multiple cities and showed no
detriment to white students.” My body paragraphs go on to explain the
busing program’s success in cities such as Boston and Charlotte. I also
have a paragraph explaining the history of school segregation for some
background, and a paragraph explaining why “busing” was a cover argument
for blatant racism.
I believe I can use ethos and pathos effectively in my paper by
describing what minority schools were like. Broken playground equipment,
no textbooks, and undertrained staff are all things that would appeal
to someone’s emotions and sense of ethics. Segregated schools were not
fair or equal and the reader should be able to understand the lack of
ethics in a segregated school system.
Explaining that Jim Crowe laws and de facto segregation led to the
segregation of neighborhoods, which in turn led to the segregation of
schools is an appeal to logos. The logic behind why something happened
can help the reader form an informed opinion.
Sharing statistics regarding minority student’s improvement also
solidifies the argument that busing worked. Several studies showed
improved grades, increased graduation rates, and decreased crime rates
during the time period when busing was enforced.
One argument against busing used at the time was that federal funds
should not go towards the busing effort. People thought the districts
that wanted to bus should be the ones to pay for it. This may be a fair
argument, however, in reality, no school district implemented busing
policy on their own accord. The federal government was forced to
intervene when it became clear no local governments would enforce
When I started researching this topic I had a basic understanding of
forced integration because I live in a school district that attempts
school choice. It is highly controversial and most parents claim they
don’t want their children on long bus rides. This is fair, but upon
further exploration, it became clear that majority black schools are
underfunded and underachieving. In reality, to achieve real change a
drastic measure like busing is needed for the betterment of society as a
whole. I started my research on the fence about busing, but I am not
convinced that it was effective and necessary. It is difficult to
accept, but in this day and age schools are still extremely segregated.
feedback I have received throughout this course has helped me remain
mindful of the small errors I may make that have an impact on the
quality of my writing. For example, I have a tendency to end paragraphs
with a citation, and have been told to look out for this as I need to
provide information as to why this citation provides support for my
claim. While I may think it is clear, it is only because I generally
have more knowledge than those reading my paper on the subject because
I’ve spent weeks researching. I’m learning to provide explanation for my
sources at the end of a paragraph, and this has really helped me to
further evaluate if the source adds enough credibility to my claim that
it is worth noting in the first place.
I am able to effectively employ ethos when I cite information I
gathered from two expert interviews. I plan to utilize logos by citing
credible studies that highlight the statistics for the success of
first-generation students both during and post-college. I did receive
feedback that my draft is lacking in pathos, and I agree. I think I can
help develop this rhetorical device by introducing a personal story
since I am also a first-generation college student.
I have not received criticism on my thesis. I feel that I have a
strong thesis, but nothing is ever perfect, so I will keep searching for
ways to really refine this.
I believe that the three gaps that affect first-generation
students– the Opportunity Gap, Awareness Gap, and the Achievement
Gap–are strong arguments in favor of first-generation students lacking
the support they need. This theory can be applied to a recent academic
study conducted regarding first-generation students, and by bridging the
two together I believe I can create a sense of urgency.
A counter-argument I’ve come across is that first-generation students
do have support from their parents. I am able to rebut this by noting
that moral support and constructive guidance exist separately.
My opinion on the subject has not changed since I began my research. I
still feel that measures should be taken on the part of universities to
ensure that all students receive their expected return on their college
investment so long as they are actively working for it. Every student
should have the same access and knowledge of resources available to help
them succeed both during and post-college.