edit the The Advocacy Project: A Multi-modal Composition
Edit the essay according to the advice.
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Here are some thoughts on this very well-researched draft: 1. The biggest thing this essay needs right now is an increased specificity around key components of this policy. Namely, who enforces this? Will it take an act of Congress to make this sweeping change? Also, where is all this money coming from? It’s not enough to just say $500 billion will come from taxes. We need to know what kind of taxes, how it will affect low vs. high income families, etc. You cannot be too detailed when it comes to describing the mechanics of paying for this hugely ambitious policy. 2. You can condense your MERL paragraphs into one large paragraph on feasibility. 3. You don’t need the bolded section headings between paragraphs. They offer no information beyond restating what’s coming in the following paragraph. 4. Slow down with your comparison paragraph and look at the German education system more closely. How do they pay for their education? How do they measure its success? Why is it a system that’s worth emulating in the US?